ok, gonna explain an emotional literacy thing, this isnt correct in all cases, emotional literacy isnt like that

ok, relative to the leaf blowing, my brother has observed this behavior even more than me, he also knows how upset it makes me, his natural instinct is to then play it down

like just now, when i pointed it out,
he downplayed it so nonchalantly i could tell i was being managed, he tried to do a: oh, i-didnt-even-notice vibe as a sound engineer

i can understand that instinct as a masculine instinct, i really can, trying to de-escalate like you would with other men or taught to

but it comes across as emotional abandonment and infantilization and gaslighting